


24 Things part 16

by shniam



Series: 24 Things [16]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Louis is the font of all maternity knowledge, M/M, Metro article, hard to tag, mention of Pam Ferris!, they discuss childbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 13:24:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2430410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shniam/pseuds/shniam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 16 of the 24 Things series</p><p>Number 16. You will pretty much definitely do a poo during childbirth (soz).</p><p>Louis decides that they are watching 'Call the Midwife' on Netflix.  Niall has a lot of questions about childbirth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	24 Things part 16

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if 'Call the Midwife' is on Netflix and I haven't watched a lot of it so I do not know if the scene in this ficlet even exists - I'm going by my own experience!
> 
> My fiction Louis considers himself an 'expert' but that doesn't mean RL Louis does.

16\. You will pretty much definitely do a poo during childbirth (soz).

The trouble with being on the road is that during ‘down time’ there is very little else to do. No matter how much they would deny it, there is only so much Xbox that a person could play. DVD’s could only be watched so many times, including The Lion King. That meant, after a while, Netflix would be called upon to provide entertainment. It was the only way many of the popular TV shows could be watched. The difficulty arose when there was conflict over which programme to watch, therefore the trick was to grab the laptop first.

“What’re we watching this time then?” Niall groaned as he flopped onto the nearest seat, realising that he hadn’t got to the computer first.

Louis smiled triumphantly over the top of the screen and pressed a key. The title screen of ‘Call the Midwife’ came up.

Niall tipped his head over the back of the seat, “Fuck my life!” He groaned, “Harry, why didn’t you stop him?!”

Harry looked up and shrugged, “’s alright really.” He said and took a bite of his banana.

“It’s got Miranda in it and it’s a good show.” Louis was defiant, he WAS going to watch it. His sisters had been going on about the series for ages and it was based on a true account. Plus it had babies in it, what wasn’t to like?

“But it’s a chick show!” Whined Niall, pleading with his eyes to put something else on.

“No.” Louis gave ‘The Look’. “I want to watch this, so that’s what we are going to watch. If you don’t like it, you can fuck off.”

With a sigh of defeat, Niall lifted his feet up and resigned himself to watching the show. He was so going to get there first next time. As the episodes went on, Niall found himself getting into it. It wasn’t all that bad really; he liked the historical aspect and vowed to look up some of the features – not that he would admit to it. When the credits started rolling he looked over to Louis. “Right, I know that your mum is not a nun and doesn’t go around to her patients on a push-bike, but is that sort of what she does?” He asked.

Louis snorted at the image of his mum in a nuns habit, riding around Doncaster on a bike with a basket on the front. “What, deliver babies? Yeah, she’s a midwife.”

Niall rolled his eyes, “I know that! I meant the, you know, the physical bit. Is that what she does?”

“Well I’ve never actually gone into the delivery room when she’s been working, so I wouldn’t know. But I guess so. She’s sort of told me bits.”

Niall looked over at the screen as the next episode loaded. “Ok. Cool.”

Most of the next episode was watched in silence until Pam Ferris started to deliver a baby. “Isn’t that the woman from that programme?” Harry asked.

Louis gave Harry another Look. “Well, obviously.”

Harry continued, ignoring Louis, “Isn’t she in that gardening detective thing?”

Niall shrugged his lips, “Think so. Know she was in one of the Harry Potter’s”

Louis rolled his eyes. “You would.” 

“Do all women scream like that?” Harry asked as the woman on the screen let out a particularly loud scream.

“Wouldn’t know. Guess so seeing as that’s how most childbirth scenes are played out.”

“Don’t know a lot, seeing as your mum is a midwife.” Grumbled Harry as he tipped his head to one side as though trying to see around the front of the woman on the screen.

“Oh I don’t know, he knows plenty.” Niall was quick to add, shooting Louis a pointed look.

Louis gave a small, knowing, smile over Harry and turned back to the TV just as Pam Ferris handed the woman a small baby. “Like for instance, I know that woman definitely do a poo during childbirth. They never seem to indicate that in these programmes.”

Niall screwed his nose up, “What?! They take a dump in the middle of having a baby?!”

Louis sighed in the way of the wise. “It’s not like they have a choice! Imagine all that pressure, pushing a baby out, they’re bound to push a little something else out too.”

Harry nodded in agreement. “’s true. Metro had that in their list.”

Louis and Niall gave Harry an incredulous look and turned back to the TV.

**Author's Note:**

> For those that don't know, the other programme Harry is thinking of is 'Rosemary and Thyme'.


End file.
